Throughout June, we asked our staff and students to share their Pride Month stories with us. Student Rebecca Bond shares her struggles with coming out, meeting her fiancé Amanda, and the massive impact that inclusive team sport has had on her.
Hello! I’m Rebecca Bond. I’m studying Vehicle Accident Repair at UHI Perth and will be starting third year this September. I identify as lesbian and my pronouns are she/her.
As a 29 year old, I am fortunate enough to say that I am comfortable with myself and in a great place – but it hasn’t always been that way. The process of discovering who I am during my teenage years and coming out in my early twenties was far from smooth and at times much more difficult than I could ever have imagined.
Coming out
I’ve owned horses since I was a teenager, which was a very privileged position to be in. But the equestrian community as a whole isn’t the most accepting: although gay men are quite commonplace there are relatively very few lesbians, and gay women would be far more likely to be on the receiving end of homophobic slurs. I remember joking with a friend about the possibility of them being a lesbian and it was instantly met with shock and offence, like I had just suggested they were some kind of violent criminal. This is when I realised that the situation may be far more challenging than I had previously realised, and I decided for quite some years to say nothing.
I had a handful of casual relationships with men over the years, ranging from a few months to over a year, but it never felt quite right. Looking back now it’s easy for me to roll my eyes and say “it’s obviously because I was gay” but at the time I felt that I had to do what was seen as correct within the community I was in. My internal happiness suffered significantly to make sure I was accepted.
During the summer of my 22nd birthday, I started to drop hints towards my sexuality. In general this seemed to be met pretty well, I was starting to feel a bit more relaxed and, even though I knew I had a long road ahead of me, I thought that there was some definite progress being made. What I didn’t realise was that my world was about to come crashing down around me…
Gossiping within the community was in full force. For reasons that I will never understand, some people seemed to think that me admitting the possibility of being a lesbian meant that I was a terrible person and therefore was capable of doing terrible things. Nasty and vicious rumours started to fly around about me. The unaccepting teenage community that I had feared before were now making my fears a reality. What followed was a long and heart-breaking process of trying to get my life back on track.
It’s important for me to add that I also had some of the most amazing and wonderful friends around me who fought so hard to keep me strong. I don’t know how I would have gotten through it without them – in all honesty I probably wouldn’t have. After time, I slowly tried to rebuild my life and had to accept that the emotional scars were going to take a very long time to heal.
Meeting Amanda
Just over three years on, and at the grand age of 26, I met a lovely and kind woman called Amanda who was of the same age as me and just so happened to be gay too. We had many similar interests and instantly became great friends. I loved listening to all of her fascinating stories about her studies, her lovely friends and her extensive travelling. Plus one massive bonus – she loved horses! We spent as much time together as we could and I felt I could be completely open about what had happened to me. It was still very hard to disclose to anybody what I had been through and I felt so much anxiety telling her the long and painful story about what had happened to me. Her response was simply – “that’s a terrible thing for someone to have to go through, I’m so sorry it happened to you”. I’m going to sound very old school romantic here, but I think that’s when I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
We started to discuss living together and decided that Perth would be the best location for us. Amanda was keen to be involved in the 2022 Perthshire Pride and joined the committee – She instantly felt welcomed and was excited to get stuck in, helping with the mountains of planning and organisation that was required!
Joining the Perth Parrots
We heard a few people in Perth talk about a sport called floorball. Like the majority of people, we had no idea what floorball was – floorball is similar to hockey in many ways, but you can use both sides of the stick, the ball is lighter and you can kick it! There was a taster session coming up, and this was our first introduction to the Perth Parrots. The Perth Parrots pride themselves on being an LGBTIQ+ inclusive floorball club – They were proud of their inclusivity, and rightly so! We decided to give it a go, and were instantly welcomed into the club, and quickly became friends with people of all genders and sexual orientations who you could tell felt at ease in the environment. Being comfortable about who I was felt like a novelty at first, but as the months went by it became the norm and I realised – that’s how it should always have been!
Being comfortable about who I was felt like a novelty at first, but as the months went by it became the norm and I realised – that’s how it should always have been!
Everybody who trains with the Parrots is welcome to purchase subsidised training kit (and the snazzy tournament kit too) with their own number, surname and pronouns embroidered onto it. This is a great way for everybody to feel involved in the club regardless of whether you want to play competitively or would just like a bit of exercise and some social time! The Parrots social calendar became so busy that a club social committee needed to be formed, and of course Amanda and I jumped at the chance to be on it.
I am immensely proud to say that both myself and Amanda were picked to compete in the 2023 EuroGames as part of Team Scotland, and we will be travelling with the Parrots in July to Switzerland.
As I type this I’m thinking to myself ‘I’m basically creating an advertisement for the Parrots’ and in a way I am. The Parrots demonstrate perfectly how surrounding yourself with accepting and kind people allows you to accept and be kind to yourself. It is wonderful to see groups developing throughout UHI that are aimed at providing support, sports and social activities and I hope that as many students as possible can make use of them and enjoy the benefits!
Out and About in Perthshire
I often noticed a brand called Leap Sports embroidered on the sleeve of the Parrots kit and for quite some time thought it was the brand of the top! After some google searching I discovered that they are a Scottish based sports charity that promotes LGBTIQ+ inclusion in sport. So when I heard LEAP had posted a job advert looking for somebody to work part time as a ’Community Development Officer’ within Perthshire I knew it was something I had to apply for! I was absolutely delighted to be offered the role and swiftly started my main work project, ‘Out and About In Perthshire’.
The project’s main focus has been to improve the mental and physical health of the LGBTIQ+ community within Perthshire through sport and physical exercise. I am extremely proud of how far it has come since it’s start just under a year ago. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed promoting the project and helping break down the barriers that some were faced with when trying to access sport. One of my first promotional events was attending UHI Perth’s freshers fair last year and I am delighted that some of the students I first met that day are still participating in some of my events. I hope that the partnerships made with local clubs and organisations will start the ball rolling towards an even stronger LGBTIQ+ sports community within Perthshire.
HISA Student Elections
Between my role with LEAP and my course at UHI Perth studying Vehicle Accident Repair, I had lots to keep me busy over the past academic year. But I saw another opportunity that I felt would be an exciting challenge – the HISA student elections! The role of Depute President of Activities and Welfare at UHI Perth jumped out at me. The use of social and physical activities to improve people’s health (and therefore welfare) has been my main focus whilst working for LEAP, so the opportunity to do something similar for college students was too good of an opportunity to miss! After a few weeks of working hard and pushing my campaign, I was delighted to be elected.
I can’t wait to get started and hope I can help students to get the most from their experience with UHI. Amanda works for HISA as their Sports Development Coordinator, so we will be collaborating and working together a lot over the next year. I’d love to see the LGBTQ+ groups thrive and will do everything I can to make that happen!
Reflecting…
Looking back to just a few years ago, I realise how far I’ve come in so many ways. I wish I could go back and tell myself how much better it will get, but I think the gruelling challenges I faced are part of who I am now. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have changed them but I know I’ve found a new strength that I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t faced them. I hope that in my roles with LEAP and HISA I will be able to help others overcome their own struggles and show them just how much you can love yourself when you find people who love you for who you are.
Speaking of love – Amanda and I are heading off to Vegas to get married later this year. Talk about a fairytale ending!
You can read Rebecca’s fiancé Amanda’s Pride Month Blog here!
UHI have put together a handy section with lots more information for LGBTQ+ students and staff on our website.
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